February 2008

 

Short Story of the Month

 

INTERSECTION

 

            It was a very awkward moment for him, and although he could not know how she felt about it, he assumed that this made her uncomfortable as well. There they sat at the four way stop, he in his little white car and she in her blue pickup just sort of staring at each other, as if they knew this moment would come but could not believe that it actually had.

            Renee made the first move. From the pickup she waved and tried to look as casual as possible, not really smiling and trying her best to look fully recovered from this man who had cheated her out of her marriage. Since their divorce she had sunk deeply into depression, alcoholism and other addictions that had finally culminated in a minor stroke and a year’s recovery. On her own now, Renee was working in the shipping department of a large mail order pharmacy. It was her first job ever. Through it all she had alienated or been abandoned by almost everyone she knew and now here she was, back from the dead and on her feet again.

            She was on her way home from work and had come through this four way stop twice a day for the past year without really noticing it. Now she wasn’t sure if she should pull through or let James and his passenger turn left in front of her. Doing so she would have to follow them and by going through the intersection first she would be followed by them, so instead she just sat there at the intersection smiling weakly and hoping the problem would somehow resolve itself.

 

            James was in no better shape. In fact he was even more confused. He felt guilty. He felt remorseful. He felt ashamed. Since Renee had found the courage to throw him out of the house for his philandering four years earlier, he had pretty much moved on with his life. James had made a half-hearted attempt to patch things up with his wife for about a year after he moved out but in that year he found what he believed to be his independence. Unfortunately, he had confused his utter lack of discipline for freedom and when his wife did not come crawling back to him, despite her financial and legal straits, he went off full bore into hedonism.

            James moved into a nice apartment complex while Renee moved into smaller and more squalid digs. He paid off his debts now that his income was no longer split and eventually purchased a home and a new car. When Renee disappeared after a year he didn’t even bother to look for her callously believing that she was now abandoning him. He washed his hands of her and spent the next 3 years in a series of relationships that included married women. James was loose, but he wasn’t free.

            After 3 years of carousing, he was corralled by an older woman who held the promise of companionship in exchange for his caring for her. It was a no brainer. Though they did not have much of a physical relationship, she seemed to genuinely love him and that struck a chord in his heart. Katrina was going to be the one who could give him purpose as Renee had and it was she that was the passenger in his car that day.

            “What are you waiting for?” Katrina asked impatiently. She had the annoying habit of making everything sound like an order, something James had not noticed until after he had married her. “Are you turning or not?”

            James wondered how he came to find himself here. He and Kat were on their way to the Home Depot to pick up some paint and other items for the house. Usually they went to another Home Depot nearer to the house but were on their way home from across town and decided that this store would not take them too far out of their way. Now James was at the intersection of one of his worst fears. He was face to face with his guilt and shame in the persona of Renee and her beat up little used truck. Had he left a minute earlier or a minute later he wouldn’t be in this predicament. Had he taken a different route to get here or come on a different day he wouldn’t be feeling this pain. He longed to be shopping at his regular store, casually strolling up and down aisles familiar to him, joking with the cashiers that knew his name and never asked him for his identification. If only he had done this one thing differently, his life would still be perfect.

 

            Renee considered turning right. It would solve the problem. She could pretend to be going toward the food warehouse up the hill. James certainly couldn’t know where she worked, or did he? Had someone been putting her business out in the street? He had never tried to contact her. He knew no one that worked with her. As far as he knew, she was out shopping for groceries. Could he know that she couldn't possibly afford the $40.00 warehouse membership fee?

            In the four years since she threw him out, Renee had been through a lot. Most of the choices she had made were wrong but she was certain that one choice she had made was absolutely right. She had decided to live or die on her own. Renee had never been on her own before. She had grown up with money and had much given to her. Consequently, she had never had much appreciation for anything. Any trouble she got into was quickly and quietly rectified by her father's influence.

            When she married James it was partially out of spite for her parents wealth. He was a man that worked with his hands and was not bullied by her father as all of her other boyfriends had been. Her father came to respect James and James did his best to give her all of the things she wanted without asking for help. Renee continued to live life as she had, asking for and receiving most of what she asked for. When she wanted something that James could not provide she would simply go to her father behind James’ back and ask for the necessary capitol. When she threw James out she still had her father to lean on and he had always come through.

            Nearly a year after James had left home, Renee’s father became ill. His money went to pay his enormous medical costs and he died having spent nearly all that he had accumulated in a lifetime. Renee was now stuck with the unpleasant task of trying to make a living on her own. Not so easy considering that she had never actually had a job. It was this fact that contributed heavily to her depression. Her inability to cope with even the smallest of things created enough stress to finally interrupt the blood flow to her brain and leave her with impaired speech for most of a year.

            Now after battling back from almost total despair, she had learned how to cope, learned how to work and learned how to take care of herself. To turn right at the intersection now would be to take a giant step backward, and so she sat at the intersection and waited for James to complete his turn.

 

            James became more ashamed by the minute. He deserved to be. When Renee had thrown him out he wished every evil thing on her rather than come to terms with his own weakness and poor choices. He had hoped she would fail financially and physically. He had wanted her to curl up into a pathetic little ball and die and, apparently she had nearly done just that.

            When he heard of her problems he made no attempt to search for her, he told no one and he said not one prayer for her. Despite all of her trouble she had refused to quit, she had refused to die and at the same time she had sacrificed herself to pay for his indiscretions. He was a worm and felt every bit the part

            Now he was stuck in this dilemma. The chickens had come home to roost and he was at the psychological mercy of the woman in the beat up little truck.

            “Well, are we going to just sit here?’ Katrina repeated again. The driver behind him honked his horn. “What’s wrong with you?!” Kat brayed. Renee waved him ahead. James turned left into the intersection. He had lost.

 

Copyright 1990 by Jose Antonio Ponce

 

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All content on this website Copyright 2008 by Jose Antonio Ponce