Today’s Essay
Things you hear in the gym and in the bedroom:
A little help here?
I think I pulled something.
Push. Harder. Slower.
Spot me.
Feel this muscle.
How does my ass look?
No grunting!
Help me get up.
No way I’m doing that again.
Concentrate!
Let’s try hitting that a
little harder next time.
Wipe that off.
Lie on your back and keep
your feet flat on the floor.
Oooh. That hurt a little.
Want me to help you get that
up?
Try not to screw it up this
time.
Let me tighten that up for
you.
Help me lift this.
Wipe me off.
Lie flat on your back and
put your feet in the air.
I’m not sure I can do this.
I think you broke it.
Let me borrow your towel.
Need some help?
Give me ten minutes and I’ll
be ready to go again.
I hate this.
I love this.
I hate you for making me do
this.
You work me too hard.
You’re lazy.
Embrace the pain.